Reflecting

It has now been two months since the scam ended for me. I have been reflecting on how I am feeling now as opposed to then. Obviously, the numbness has worn off but as sick as this sounds and I think it is normal, to miss that fictional person I talked with every night and days on the phone. I miss the person I thought I was talking to and not the scammer! He had become part of my life for 5 months and then suddenly, as suddenly as he came into my life, he was gone (along with my money but that is beside the point). The emotional toll was so much more traumatic than the financial. I have been broke before and I will be broke again but I pray that I will have that happiness that I had for those few months back again in my life someday and that it will be for real.
Through this journey, I have found a few wonderful friends and a whole lot of scumbags out there just waiting for the right mark to come along, I have a whole new appreciation for my fellow victims. What really bothers me is I am still hearing from these shattered women, AFTER they have been emotionally and financially raped by these perverse race of men. I want to get the word out to do your homework before you fall victim to these schemes. Don't find this or other blogs and websites when you are at your worst. Ask the hard questions, the ones I avoided so that I didn't make him mad or not like me or worse make him think I wasn't the kind hearted, accepting woman he was looking for. This is what they look for in a victim...win her heart before she wises up and sees the inconsistency in their stories.
When I look back to what should have been my first clue, it was in the very first chats we had, I asked him about some random Finnish word, and he didn't have a clue what I meant. The word meant cabin and it was something I read about on internet that stated 1 in 4 Finnish families had one...1 in 4 and he had no idea what the word was! I laughed it off... maybe it was my spelling (although I spelled it two different ways for him). But it is these little details that gives you the whole picture, don't discount them.
Boy, I wish I knew then what I know now, I would have seen him coming from a mile away. In fact, I am embarrassed by how uninformed I was about the whole romance scam business, and yes, it is a business, make no mistake. I cringe when I think that some of these funds raised by these people go to fund terrorist activities and pray that he just blew my money on fancy clothes, a vacation or something frivolous like that but I also wonder...
More later....

Be safe, before you are sorry.